Brain Science
A Scientific Explanation for why we have issues.
Understanding our brain starts with this one principle that filters everything else we do in therapy.
Your brain is designed to keep you alive, and it will do what it thinks is necessary to accomplish that. That includes working hard to identify anything that might threaten your “survival.”
Ever notice when you’re in a “bad part of town,” your brain will seek out anything that might appear threatening?
We learn early on that we need our parents to survive.
We need their love and approval. If something gets in the way of that – whether it be us, them, or something/someone else – we can adapt in unhealthy ways that can cause problems for us down the road.
Our brains are designed to identify anything threatening our survival, which can lead to identifying with negative self-beliefs.
Examples of these are “I am not safe,” “I am not good enough,” “I’m not loveable,” “I am stupid.”
The smart part of our brain knows better.
As a Certified EMDR Therapist, I use EMDR to help you get at these negative self-beliefs and tell them the truth. Think of the example where a child blames themselves for their parent’s divorce.
There is this instinctual part that will insist that “if I only I had done something different, this bad thing wouldn’t have happened!”
In effective therapy, the change comes when the client activates the negative self-belief and then informs it with the smart part of their brain. This is called Memory Reconsolidation.
Prefrontal Cortex vs. Limbic system
The Prefrontal Cortex is the part of the brain that I’m using right now to make these sentences and the part of the brain that you’re using right now to understand them.
Our Limbic system is probably telling us that we are hungry or thirsty right now.
It’s the fight or flight part of the brain that is currently working to identify any subtle threat to your survival.
Your alarm goes off…
Limbic system (Instinctual part of the brain): What’s that noise?!
Prefrontal Cortex (smart part of the brain): Oh, I know what that is. It’s the alarm, and we need to get up and go to work!
Limbic system: The body is still tired. I’m in charge of checking the body, and we need more sleep. Hit the snooze button!
Prefrontal Cortex: You can’t oversleep again. You’ll lose your job!
Limbic system: Oh, I don’t care about all that. I just want to sleep!
A divided front
You find yourself arguing with yourself, calling yourself names and threatening action unless you get out of bed. How many brains do you have in that head of yours? This is where IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy can be very helpful.
I use IFS in combination with EMDR and mindfulness. It recognizes these “parts” of the brain and actually has the client openly talk to each of them gaining their permission when necessary.
It often feels weird at first, but when you experience its benefits and see how it “rings true” within you, it can be very powerful and effective.
Part of you wants to, part of you doesn’t
“I’ve tried to change in the past, and it didn’t work! I went back to the same old way of thinking and doing. What makes this any different?”
Many types of therapy do what I call a top-down approach which is helpful, but it doesn’t get at the root of the problem.
EMDR and IFS are therapies that are designed to get past the protective barriers of our mind and reach the negative self-beliefs (mentioned earlier) that were learned at some early point in your life. These modalities can inform it with the truth about you and about your life.
It’s a strange thing but our brains will tell us lies after hard times occur, because it thinks by doing that it’s keeping us safe. Therapy has a lot to do with exchanging these lies with the truth.
What lies do you live with? When you’re feeling bad about yourself, what kind of nasty statements do you attack yourself with? Everyone struggles with being happy from day to day, but it’s a lot easier when you don’t live with falsehoods from the past.
Call me for a free 20-minute consultation today, and let’s see if real change for you is possible.